Endeavour

2010-07-18T21:02:00.000+08:00

你是陌生人了.

2010-07-14T18:39:00.002+08:00

"so do you have a plan for tomorrow?"

i pondered this question for a full five minutes before deciding that no, i do not have any foolproof plan. Unless of course, you consider sitting in front of the exam paper telling yourself "you are so screwed" a sound plan for success. and now, on the eve of QET, i decided to devote my precious minutes to blogging a half-baked post rather than using them to read up on some useful tips for tomorrow. haha so much for the we-will-all-make-it-speech.

things arent going as well as i've hoped. backstabs, fake fronts and stress aren't things i can hadle so well.
haha and i guess i have really changed. sitting in front of my com typing out complaints to an imaginary audience was never really my style.

"learn to live, live to learn"
i saw this sentence etched on the cover of my GP notebook while digging my old notes for a last ditch attempt to prepare for tomorrow's test. 3 years ago i thought it was something note worthy, something to live up to. 3 years later all i saw was 6 words forming a rather corny sentence.
i wondered what happened to my, er, optimism, that rosy view of everything around me.

ha, wait, wait.
fancy going bonkers over a minor exam.
perhaps i just couldnt get over the fact that i expected better of my performance then.

perhaps i just need to get a life, and stop emoing in a corner.

2010-06-11T22:37:00.002+08:00

its june 11th 2010.

its been over half a year since i last blogged. well if that one line stolen from somebody else's nick can be considered a post. if boon hadnt mentioned the class blog, i guess i wouldnt even have remembered that once upon a time i dedicated time to writing on blogger. ha i've degenerated to simply browsing through the daily updates on fb rather than taking time out to pen out my thoughts... its so much easier.

and perhaps because of that i have lost the ability to write on a standard that is even readable. well i wasnt an excellent writer to begin with but being reduced to writing simple sentences such as those listed above speaks volumes.

went for a class dinner today. during which i was asked,
"为什么你每次都那么安静？"

good question. i really dont know. this wasnt the first time i was told i'm very quiet around people, so i pondered hard on the way home. i guess i just i'm just the quiet type, the kind of people who stays in the background and soak in the mood discreetly. i learnt something else about myself though. i've become more and more emotionless. once upon a time i could turn dull everyday experience into a comical narrative, now all i could do is to write in simple, emotionless and factual sentences. and that was when it hit me that aside from cherished relationships and my already limited ability in writing, i've lost my much of my drive and optimism.

perhaps its part of growing up. life's unpleasant events makes one jaded and unhappy. many things have happened recently. perhaps that's why i've grown even more withdrawn than i already was.

yet, life goes on. and i do not want to end up a wrinkled grumpy middle age man before my time.
i will strive to recover the little things and abilities i've lost.
i will make an effort to live life to the max, to start enjoying the little joys in life.
argh hell, i sound like an old man.
but i've laid down my aims, and i will achieve it.

and i've started by writing this post.

2009-10-08T22:44:00.003+08:00

“无惊无险，又过了一天。坐吃玩睡，又胖了一圈。”

taken from someone's msn nick, this describes me well.

a little too well.

2009-01-26T21:31:00.002+08:00

i learnt something.

kids are terrified of me. last year my.... niece?(or cousin?) cried when i said hi. this year my... um nephew? ... cried too when i tried to be friendly. aii. i think next year i better keep a little distance. till theyre a little older.

ah. 老了。

not too long ago i was still the 3rd youngest of those present. its a little hard to accept i'm turning 20, and i've advanced in ranking to uncle.

how nice it'll be to stay a younggin.
but i guess that's life.

2009-01-25T21:42:00.003+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!
wishing everyone have a prosperous and happy year ahead in the year of the ox.

i just wish to be healthy and safe in the year, finish the remainder of my NS peacefully and ord happily.

have a good year!

2009-01-18T18:47:00.000+08:00

2009!

2008-11-28T21:47:00.002+08:00

here to say goodbye.
well to this place at least. i'm getting lazier and lazier to write anything.
haha not that events in my life are all that interesting anyway. or that i've any talent for writing even decent posts in the first place.

many things have happened, changed. got to get them sorted.

but of course, this place will always welcome anyone of you who ever bothered to drop by.
feel free to doodle on the board if you are bored, happy or even if you need somewhere to vent.
i shall reply if i happen to see it.

till inspiration strikes again,
good luck,
take care, and of course
have fun!

2008-11-19T22:12:00.002+08:00

既然你已这么明确的划分表明了，
我也不会再缠下去了。

有些事终得顺其自然，不得强求。

谢谢你。
也愿你过得好，找回快乐。

2008-11-16T14:17:00.004+08:00

发生了许多事，似有若无。

2008-10-17T18:07:00.007+08:00

静静触摸未来遥远的风，有一天你会找回你的梦
幸福是看得透而不是舍不得他的所有
慢慢触摸天空暖暖的火，我在这天黑了也不会走。
你的快乐除了他还有我永远守候，
不要难过

-《触摸》

过了一个星期，也结束了一个月来疯狂追听的广播剧《215的约定》。

虽然剧情越变越corny, 但还是满精彩有趣。而过了今天，我又少了一样能期待的事。

哈。最近能期待的都少了这么多，多减一个又算什么？

还有三天就启程了！

嗯，只是去一个月。但30天的时间却也一点都不短。

一个月后的我，会有什么变化呢？

一个月后的你，是否已如愿以偿，找到你的最佳排档呢？我想我是很难会再遇见你或听得到你的近况的了。愿你会比现在开朗快乐的多。期终考试也要多多加油！你一定行的。

我会想念你的。

2008-10-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

alphabets start with ABC, numbers begin with 123, life starts with ORD.

of course, i've still got a long way to go. this came from my senior who will soon see his pink IC after some time. of course, i do look forward to my own ord, though perhaps that feeling is not as strong as before. once upon a time i had other things, other people in mind; now that things have changed, it doesnt matter so much anymore.
i shall just enjoy whatever good times i have with my buddies.

because everything will change someday.
and it will never be the same again, especially human relations. i learned it a little late.

the faster i get adapted, the better off i'll be.

2008-10-10T21:25:00.004+08:00

argh.

i'm so sick of washing and cleaning. the best part is that i doing all this for a trip i dont really want to go. but as with many things, i have no choice. the customs there are really anti-"foreign non-human organic material". i mean, where else would custom personnel do a 100% check because they discovered a single ant on one of the first few people who alighted?

mm. but that's fine. the all important question is HOW AM I GOING TO GET THAT ALL IMPORTANT ONE CUP OF COFFEE DAILY? no caffeine for a MONTH. NOOOOO~
surely there must be a way to smuggle coffee..... maybe i'll pass it off as kiwi shoe polish....

aiii. 还是别挣扎了，跑不掉的。
i'll be facing 35 degree days, 10 degree nights and all the sand in the world to eat.

saw this photo on the net. nostalgic.

anyway, i just hope everyone going to have a safe trip. lets all return safe and sound.
and bon voyage to drivers outbound this sunday!

hmm. i shouldnt complain too much. i already have a better deal.

2008-10-04T21:29:00.002+08:00

考试的朋友，还要继续加油！直到最后都不可放弃！
亲爱的你也一样要坚持，撑多一会儿然后去享受。

嗯，就这样。

今天的天空也挺美的。

2008-10-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

心情是陷入了谷底。
努力不一定成功，但放弃了就一定失败。

而我，则似乎已走进了个死胡同。
也许是我想太多了吧。
反正自那个事件后，这种状况是正常，自然的。
我是该学着去习惯那冷冰冰的感觉。
或许就不会每一次都这么难受。

嗯，太有空，想太多，是不健康的。

换个心境，报些好消息。
朋友有起色，已渐渐康复。

2008-10-02T22:23:00.002+08:00

发生了好多事。

we all learnt something by hard this week: dont take things for granted.

for all our vocation time i've heard many stories about the dangers of my vocation- all those tales about overturns, the pics with mashed hands, the lectures on safety aboard it etc etc, but like the rest, i've never thought it will actually happen to us.

until something really happened and got my friend landed in ICU.

its kind of unnerving when we heard what occured. especially when moments before you are standing atop the vehicle while it climbs a steep slope up the hill. i mean it can happen to any of us. and we'll be caught unprepared since the vehicles are old and we've learnt to cope with the insufficient measures. huh. but no choice la.

no wonder they gave us risk pay. its wasnt for nothing after all. though $50 isnt quite the amount i think is sufficient.

and so, must remind myself to be a little more alert and careful from now on. i have absolutely no wish to get myself injured or killed during training.

and perhaps, i should bear this in mind for some other matters as well.

2008-09-20T22:39:00.001+08:00

time to go.

2008-09-14T22:25:00.001+08:00

i am lost.

2008-09-14T10:14:00.001+08:00

...

2008-09-13T19:14:00.002+08:00

photo-- from left: cheryl, jiangwei, jason, mei san, guo hao, kai leng and yours truly.

i was cleaning up my hard disk for space when i came across some of these old photos. mm well perhaps there are not that old, but they bring back a lot of memories anyway. kinda miss everyone...and a stark reminder again how out of touch i am with a lot of people. arghh.

especially the people from the wushu team. i remember the days of 压腿, which i disliked; the times we sat in the dusty little wushu room talking cock and playing daidee....they are all a thing of the past.
as for the people... they are leaving too. 1 leaving for uk today, on the eve of mid autumn; another this month, juniors leaving school, the rest are busy with NS and uni. speaking of uni...

all the best again to meisan! the trusty 2IC of the club. bon voyage.

ah. i regret not putting a little more effort in keeping contact. most of all the broken promises of gatherings every now and then. but i gave you al my word i will organise one next year, when people overseas are back for holidays.

this time, i keep my word.

2008-09-13T11:49:00.002+08:00

argh.
life's a bitch, to quote jiahao4.
and more so when you are an RT personnel. the toughest training and saikang comes your way, while the rest are allowed canteen breaks when they havent even finished their share of work.
huh what nonsense right. then again, this is life.

but of course, good things are always lying slyly in wait behind the bad stuff.

such as having the chance to go to the farewell supper for ms, cos the sirs are nice enough to give a night off for us despite RT confinement. here shall wish ms a safe trip and a fun sem in glasnow!

mmm.
my events for this wk looks pretty trivial isnt it?
well, c'est la vie.

2008-09-07T18:19:00.003+08:00

ah. the suayness. i thouroughly learn the meaning of the proverb:

欲速则不达！！

-*-

i miss you.

but i cant even see your shadow now.
i'll always remember all the times we've had.

2008-09-06T22:06:00.002+08:00

Great dinner!
and its been a long time since i last ate out with my parents. was it last year?

the food is really good: all my favourite dishes from the old stall that used to be in seletar hills. i liked the fried/baked prawns especially- very fresh prawns with a starchy crust. i haven found a stall that cooks them as well as the old uncle.

but of course, as with many other things... its a little different. that old community centre... that rolling drum in the playground i used to play with my sis, the wet market and familiar food centre i used to go with my dad, they're all gone, replaced with bare grass. and they are gone for good.

so much for redevelopment. but at least, the stall is still around. relocated, but there nonetheless.

it feels almost like finding back an old friend.

2008-09-06T15:06:00.002+08:00

"I LOVE FIELD CAMP!" our CSM-company storeman- nic exclaimed, to the rousing echoes of all of us aboard the tonner. that's during our own GCC. now that its said and done, we have plenty of it upcoming. so much for sacarsm huh. there are few things lovely about that.

back from the weeeklong sumex! its trouble for my friends, torture for my sergeants and a torpid experience for me. we have one thing in common: we are glad its over
watching the sergeants' loud cheers after the GCC presentation ceremony rekindles the sense of acheivement and exuberance of completing my own gcc. a year ago we probably would have dismissed everything we did as impossible. but of course we all made it in the end, though my gcc was nothing like the sergeants'.

and the victory comment i heard," 拜二小心啊, i'll turn you all out"
aii. so much for helping them.

2008-08-30T23:09:00.002+08:00

its been a while since i last had the chance to go to one class outing.
its a small group, but its really great to see everyone again, catching up...laughing merrily.
i'm happy everyone is doing fine. though met with new environment and challenges which was really tough, at least they are all gradually adapting, going on to do well. most of all, the class is still pretty much intact, getting along like the good old jc days.

and it made me sad too.
i could see just how distant i really am from the class. i sat there with few words because i have nothing much in common to say, so i just listened and watched. it felt so awkward, so lonely.
would it be any different if i made more effort to bond with my class?

ah well. i guess its just not fated ba. the dates a__ had in mind, mindef have already taken them in advance. i shall content myself with what i always did in the past: stand by the railing to admire from a little distance.

-*-
what jh4 said right before i left does hurt a little. he probably meant it jokingly, but it stings a bit nonetheless.

2008-08-24T15:08:00.002+08:00

on last count, i have exactly 55 days.
just wanna say,
" NOOOOOOOOO~~~~!"

haha well i guess its another get-it-over-and-done-with-thing.
no point fretting unless there's a concrete way of siamming it. and perhaps it'll be a good experience, better than i expected. maybe the temporial numbing i need to gaping emptiness i feel each day .

anyway, AHM was alright. well of course, since we banded together to do regular sprints-n-strolls. i'm pleasantly surprised to see friends out of NS running too. i hadnt known you all like long distance runs.

in the upcoming week i hope:

- it rains on tuesday and wednesday, if i didnt remember the schedule wrongly.
- to organize a very informal farewell for a friend, though unlikely since my sept weeks are completely eaten up by nature therapy.
-pass my ippt, so i can promote, so i dont have to do retest and most importantly so i dont have to attend the $%^&@## RT

2008-08-22T21:44:00.003+08:00

and finally ends yet another disastrous week.

i'm really sick of certain people. they are really too much.
individuals who redefine bo zeng hoo. people who can gladly watch others labour and suffer without a single scratch on their conscience. ones who have no balls to own up, hiding behind a big buddy shield.

haii. and nothing seems to work against them.
in the past such stress and frustrations seems nothing, because weekends offsets it. i'll have a reassuring embrace if i need one and encouragement to spur me on... but well, times have changed. i had better learn to adapt and accept, no matter how hard, how long.

some updates:

- new specs! that also means the old ones, those whom i'm close to are leaving. oh well,天下无不散之宴席. they look... fine. small lean and blur looking, but that's cos its their first day. no one i know, though my friends have kindly pointed out one of them is a big LCB from experiences dating back to sec 2.

- i'm really tired.

and

- i gave my tic to the fireworks fest display away. mm on hind sight should have went to watch la... from what i see from my window the display seems really spectacular! but then again it poured heavily today, and i have no wish to squeeze into the platform with a wet butt.

well that's all for now.
from all the forecasts, i probably wont have a very good time until november.

2008-08-17T15:18:00.002+08:00

happened to see this scene on someone's psp today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlfH3r780So

nostalgic. this is the 2nd one of the many many console RPGS i've played so far, using an old playstation 1 emulator. haha it still makes me grin during the part where Squall was caught off balance and crash right back into rinoa.

ai, blogging abt an old but great game, so it is not hard to deduce i have nothing to do today.

and one week's up.
by this time plenty of things would already have happened back in camp.
for one, Tubby is back to make life miserable for people in camp, only this time he's brought along his twin brother to pack a heavier punch... and make things even more miserable for
my dear sergeants doing gcc. technically speaking Tubby has never done anything wrong, its just that he happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. and hence its destined to be stomped on and hated by specs and men alike in LSC.

and i guess life wont be as lax from now on.
ahhh.
my bunk bed, here i come.

2008-08-16T21:00:00.001+08:00

soccer, once again.
this time with an injured toe.

一个月了。
你有过得好一些吗？

2008-08-14T22:58:00.003+08:00

OUTING!

from left is zihan, soni and reuben.

and soon soni will be leaving for oxford and the next time i meet him will probably be in 2 years time. i doubt he'll see this post, but i shall wish him all the best here! as i did before he left.

mm and i think the cookhouse auntie is partly right. he does look a little like an american.

not a bad day today. but heavy spending.

bad.

2008-08-13T21:38:00.002+08:00

News--"Investigations ongoing in case involving NS man who left camp with thunderflashes"

http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/singaporelocalnews/view/367702/1/.html

huh i think that guy sure hong gan liao. together with his pc, sergeants, BOS, DO etc etc.
then again who knows why he would bring them out to club. haha more interesting comments and quotes at http://forums.hardwarezone.com.sg/showthread.php?t=2056806&page=6

-*-

the sky's really beautiful todaya. a clear blue sky. i havent seen one in a while.

2008-08-12T21:07:00.003+08:00

大家好，我们是。。。
the league of the extraordinary hol-landers.

havent been on a bike for quite some time and getting back on it feels really great. ok the bike isnt exactly a superb one- rear brakes function as a smooth rubber to polish wheel rims and the bikes on the last gear when the knob reads 4; but it doesnt hinder the.. shuang feel speeding through the open patches.

its quite a fun journey to town. speeding past long straight stretches of ECP and coasting through the boat quay areas we managed to ride straight into tanjong pagar plaza, amid some stares. overheard," 今天不用上课meh..."
had our lunch before slowly meandering back to ecp.

the memorable part of the trip was of course the treacherous/diffcult parts of the journey. yes cycling on streets in sg IS dangerous. i almost got banged down by a merc at a junction, k nearly got catapulted after hitting an unmarked hump etc etc. then there was the bike repairing session in the middle of the CBD, where the six of us struggled to free a tangled chain and return it to the original place and the leg cramps from too much soccer the previous day. haha but all in all a good ride.

and well, true to our title, we hollanded a total of... 6 times?
haha getting lost seems inbuild in us.
so the next time you need a navigator, you know who to hide from.

2008-08-09T23:57:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY S'PORE!

yea and hope everyone had a joyous holiday. and for those who watched the ndp show, hope its good!
cos behind every smiling face milling out of the floating platform is the face of a youth who havent had their VERY PRECIOUS weekend for quite some time.
haha. but it comes a bit too late huh.

nonetheless, the firework is awesome. as one of the hundreds of backstage support personnel, catching the show is difficult, so i only saw the pyrotechnic display. truly beautiful.
and amid the blossoms of sparks i made the wish again for the same person.

and for now, i shall embark on my long-awaited break!
pity most people are either in army or in uni.
nevermind, i still have myself.
and my buddies.
soccer monday! cant wait.

2008-08-08T00:24:00.002+08:00

this is the 3rd lousy week in a row. many things just doesnt seem to go smoothly. especially so for those in LSC. from falling ill to the 'extras' crisis.... even today's cohesion bbq- it poured just after we started the fire, leaving us stranded and squeezed in a small shelter shivering from the 3hr rain.

kinda reminds me of this phrase i said to a friend long long time ago- " 祸, 不单行"
the latter part about good luck coming after that better be true too.

and speaking of 3...yea, its 3 wks now, more or less. i hope you are getting better le.
perhaps moving on. ha shall wish you the best once again. strive and embrace your dreams.
i guess i shall stop being a nuisance and bother you with msgs you dont seem keen to reply. well, just know that i'll do my best if you need my help.

oh. and today's the opening of olympic games 08. jia you to my sergeant! n his team of course.

2008-07-27T17:14:00.002+08:00

just wanna say,

THANK YOU EVERYONE!

especially to yd, alv, i3ooner, jayz and gab. you guys really made my day in a lousy week. its really a surprise. haha i'm sorry about the xiao qiang-in- cake incident. lets hope we are fine huh.
once again, thanks! love you guys.

and of course to everyone else who sent wishes. steph, jh4, jion, cheryl, boon, karen, yang nai, my family... everyone. you all put a smile on my face when i read your msges.
may you guys be merry always too!
all the best to those matriculating. jia you and dont forget fun now and then!
and of course the guys:endure!

nineteen.
i'm thankful.
you all made it meaningful.

2008-07-16T22:03:00.002+08:00

on hiatus.
deep down we know full well how the pause will probably end.

but perhaps you are right. its may be better to take some time to rediscover ourselves, and seek answers to the long list of unanswered questions building beneath the surface.

i've been quite a disappointment, i know. and this isnt the first time i've neglected you.
you've did a lot, and sacrificed a lot for me. yet i dont appreciate the efforts and sometimes even get angry at some unspoken expectation- one which i didnt realise i had until i thought abt it, one which is quite unreasonable on hindsight.

maybe its a self-fufilled prophecy. what i didnt tell you and deny all along is the feeling during the first few weeks; that i am just a catalyst, a crutch from a particularly bad fall so that when the next chance comes along, you will perform most splendidly. the first ever relationship i had, it turned out more or less like that. perhaps i am afraid. afraid that someday this will happen again.

you do mean a lot to me. and i do want to share my life with you, embark on that promised tour etc. but i guess my lack of faith in you, in myself... us... it killed everything.
i'm sorry for the hurt i caused.

i saw the fireworks that day. and i had one wish in mind: that you be happy and contented everyday for the rest of the year.

2008-06-28T10:56:00.002+08:00

3 months into unit life, my friend decided that there is 3 questions we should ask ourselves at some point in our lives:

1. when did the BIG BANG occur?
2. does God exist?

and
3. why the hell does it take so long for them to give us RO?

life recently revolves around this phrase: hurry up and wait.

-*-

yesterday we bade farewell to the two disrupting for furthur studies. no longer will they have to sit on the parade square for hours waiting for a sheet of paper to be read out, or live a strict and rigid lifestyle with little autonomy. they will return with good degrees to serve with bars on their shoulders, nuturing the next batch of "thinking soldiers", to quote various articles.

and i shall have 2 people fewer to relate with.

to them, i hope they have a good time overseas or in medical school.
farewell, and fare well.

2008-06-21T21:02:00.002+08:00

空。

this word describes pretty much about me. i just cant seem to think properly. wrong, its seems like i cant think at all. its seems so empty sometimes, that space inside my skull.

especially so at the present moment.

somehow its so hard to stimulate my brain to think. to even write something.
ai.
i'm losing it.

i hope i change soon.

2008-06-01T10:38:00.006+08:00

its been a LOONNG while. haha nearly 2 months of inaction! i figured i had better start composing something, even if its just a casual description of my life before i lose my ability to write anything at all.

first up, i shall introduce 2 of my friends.

the first one is a special ami of mine. i knew her since...... erm i cant remember, but i never really appreciated her. nonetheless she stood by, silent and always there, making a soft protest only once in a while. the latest field camp made me realise just how important she is. well of course, big shots like andy lau probably went through it at some point of their lives a similar crisis, as seen in one of his songs:

每一个马桶都是英雄只要一个按钮
他会冲去你所有烦忧
你有多少苦痛你有多少失落他会帮你全部都带走
每一个马桶都是朋友可以真心相守
一辈子你都不能没有
我的秘密太多我的梦想太重
你会慢慢的懂

亲爱的马桶

-*-

next up allow me to intro Tubby.
well i dont really know how to describe him, but i detested him the moment he decided to join in the GAC halfway.
if only he stay where he's welcomed...

oh i forgot, his full name: 5-tonner TUBBY wheel

-*-

haha those aside, i've did many things for the first time the past month. things like rappel; my first ever swim in the sea was a 2 km one etc. and i'm really happy AIT is finally over. the most memorable was definitely the field camp and GAC, which was hell of course, but it instilled pride in us, and trained us to be tough and resilient. it taught us to be confident and disciplined as well.

each of us were whacked hard, especially during the beach PT, where everyone's suffering from fatigue from a long march with Tubby and lack of sleep. many had this thought flashed across their minds at some time: "i wanna fall out". our instructors were very encouraging, constantly popping up to say things like "shag ah? fall out la! if you fall out i let you go back to bunk to have a good shower and rest! oh i also treat you to 100 plus if you fall out."

at the end of it, i heard the quote of the month, by the platoon sarge
"a guardsman can die, but he dont cry and fall out"

its these things that make receiving the beret meaningful.

and of course, special thanks to my special one! without all those encouragement, things will be a lot tougher. i'm glad to have you by my side.

-*-

and now, another chapter begins.

2008-04-20T00:04:00.002+08:00

staring at the revolving fan one SIB session, i wondered to myself, is that how i want to spend my next 18 months?

looking around me, most of my friends made it to command sch, and are going to be great leaders with heavy responsibilities. and sometimes i do envy them, reproaching myself for slacking off bmt. yea well i have no huge responsibilities, but waiting to rush, rushing to wait and following instructions to core without essentially no autonomy like some fing idiot isnt something i look forward too either.

ah. i'm really a leo after all. even if i dont possess the leadership and courage of the majestic lion, i retain its enormous ego. i guess i'm just envious. i shall get over it.

meanwhile, i shall exercise my... if limited, talents elsewhere.

2008-04-12T23:20:00.002+08:00

dusty, dusty DUSTY!
its time for area cleaning arnd here.

haha but much as i would want to dust this place... i have limited resourses.
mm after all i spend much of my time in camp, and i'm not allowed to mention anything sensitive. as for weekends... i have a special place for those mems in my brain.

here's some snippets of life:

(refering to a certain usually-at-night activity, discussing abt the effect of age on... the pleasures of life)

" ah i tell you, the feeling, is the same. there is no difference. the only thing that is different is the sound."

---

*the bunch of us bumping into OY with his gf*

OY:" eh zt, (giving a tap on my arm) she says you look quite cute and good-looking"

*points to gf*

GF:" you SIAO AH?!"

zt: " -_- "

sian sia. no need to be so direct right...

---

ahh. i'm dreading AIT.

2008-03-23T22:23:00.002+08:00

when tomorrow comes....

2008-03-14T13:50:00.004+08:00

i'm walking on thin ice. will i be able to reach the other end safely?

2008-03-13T21:38:00.006+08:00

i've been promoted!
haha while there really is no difference in many aspects, a promotion is a promotion.
at least i get to keep my hair- after the few crew cuts, you learn to appreciate your hair, no matter how much you detest the way it curls the wrong way whenever it grows too long.

its been 2 days since pop. someone asked me there's any difference to have graduated.
i thought for a moment and realised not hearing that familiar alarm at 4.30am every morning felt really odd indeed.

if there's something i really missed back there its my buddies and commanders.
its a mere nine weeks, but it feels as if i've known them for years. haha the army really bonds people. nine weeks of tough training, fun and communicating with the floor makes a platoon of brothers.

*-*

more photos! well these are the only i can post without year long clearance to meet.
here goes:

frm left: jer, sg seb, me and zt

a refreshed sir khai after we dunked... wrong, after we invited him to a cordial wash up.

PEGASUS 2!

-*-

in the few days that you are gone,

i guess i finally have an inkling how you felt each time.

2008-03-07T11:31:00.001+08:00

today's THE day.

hadnt felt like this since the eve of the A's.

2008-03-01T19:10:00.002+08:00

its march!
one more week to P-O-P, POP POP, one more week to P-O-P, P-O-P-O-P yea!
haha thats what we've been singing recently while marching. well if you really think about it, it simply means more stuff are heading your direction, but somehow it feels good to know that soon we will be leaving the ferry terminal behind for good/some time.

sergeant S told us that the last week is the real test.
"be prepared ah. stretch more over the weekend."(triceps. does that ring a bell?)

-*-

A level results out soon! as rumour has it, its this coming week. mm everyone is getting a little jittery over it. i do hope we performed well!

meanwhile, i', once again the man in green.
au revoir

2008-02-24T14:29:00.002+08:00

heyas. its been some time once again. i just had my com restored after it went dead all of a sudden the previous week. its good to be able to turn on the com again... just that it as slow as before.

back in camp things are pretty much the same: PT, training, talks, getting screwed and heaving yourself into bed for a good sleep at the end of the day. and then there's the occasional entertainment by selected individuals with an affinity for gaining sergeants' attention-- most of the time they gained it not so voluntarily. they are nice people who are quite charismatic la, being able to bond well with everyone including commanders, though quite often, these people with the X factor tend to get additional tricep training.

A level results will be out soon. mm i hope that everyone achieves what they want.

....

turn left, or turn right?
i'm lost.
i'm turning into a dead end everywhere.
and i really feel the gap widening.

but i do mean what i say.
i will find the right path to you.

2008-02-08T11:47:00.000+08:00

all right. this place is getting a little stagnant. no new posts for a month! haha but then there really isnt much time for updating. i book out only for a around a day ya know. besides i fell ill quite recently, so must rest.

first and foremost, a HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR to all visitors! wishing my friends and family a year with good health and happy times. and the best for those taking exams this year.

army life isnt very bad so far. of course there were unpleasant instances, but generally its quite all right. haha too bad i cant post the details here. i dont want to end up squatting in DB because of a few hundred words.

as for me i've changed quite a bit physically. the most obvious one is of course, my head. your hair conveys many messages actually. it can for instance, tell others if you've just showered or if you've ever showered for the past week; tell if you need attention or in my case, if i'm still a student. nowadays people look at my head for my profession.
and my cousin couldnt recognise my at first sight, thats how much i've changed.
haha what i wanted to hear is that i've grow more matured and mascular.

and then comes my mannerisms! most guys have gradually changed to use more colourful vocabulary. i was fairly surprised that a friend who dont usually utter such words use them rather fluently nowadays. for me, i use the field signal for GPMG out of field quite often.(haha for those clueless, approach any recruit that's halfway through BMT.)

haha so much for me. its the new year! i shall feast on the pile of bakkwa waiting for me on the table outside. mm. sorethroat? since when i have a sorethroat?

2008-01-10T00:12:00.000+08:00

haha took this photo at the suggestion of somebody. and its the only photo i took the entire chalet. quite dumb right. accordingly this is supposed to resemble a rock version of the celebrated character L. haha i'm just trying to act punk la. and its not very close to a punk too.

haha i'm typing this on the eve of enlistment. yea and that photo above is a tribute to my soon-to-be lost wavy long hair. it shall be quite a day tomorrow, or the next 2 weeks for that matter.

tmr i shall be going with.... as what k says, 3 girlfriends! haha just that those three have other agendas. and likely i'm not on their list.

mm. till 2 weeks later then! i shall offer a prize. the first person who can guess the correct length of my longest strand of hair and then tag on my tagboard shall receive a hug from me. the lucky you will get to choose the style of hug:

1) the stinky army boy flavour- complete with camo paint, a shot of bad breath and a zesty tinge of body odour.

2) the zealous homesick kid - a big hug. BIG. tears for garnish.

or

3) the design your own hug set- you shall take the reins! damages for sudden smacks on the face due to unwanted postures will not be included.

alright then.
i shall miss my family, my bed and this com. and i shall be missing the ZAI you very much too! do take care of yourselves. and be happy always.

dont forget my competition too.

CHEERS!
onward to be a MAN

2008-01-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

oh dear. all the recent emo messages and letters, its making me emo too. i feel quite guilty. many have sent me messages via sms or mail, but i only replied with an SMS. ai. i think i owe all of you one.

here, i shall post my own message.

to members of S06:

you have been a great class! when i first entered the class, i must admit i do feel rather out of place. and that explains why i've been much of an eccentric dao fuck for most part during that time. but i've grown to appreciate the class. i shall miss all the great times we've had: all the lame jokes, the trash talk we always had among the guys and the great company of everyone in the class. thank you for always looking out for me. if you all ever read this, i want to say TAKE CARE! stay cheerful always. our paths will cross again. and we will always be S06, the definitive class.
"its the fate that brings but the effort that binds."

yea.

not to forget of course, all the valuable friends i've made: my CHS buddies, the wushu team, my juniors and the 852 gang.... i will not forget all of you de.

mm. i sound as if i'm migrating soon.
but nevertheless, do drop a call if you need my help!

mm. till then.

2007-12-31T11:59:00.000+08:00

its THE time of the year once again. every year, on 31st december its the time for reflections and new wishes for the new year. i read what i wrote on this day exactly one year ago and i really laughed out loud. i seemed to have turn into someone the exact opposite of what i envisioned.

2007.
i have had plenty of good memories and just as many events i wish i could forget.
what's lost cant return, but we can prevent that from happening again.

so, on the eve of a year 2008,
i decided that i want to:
1) be concise, decisive once again
2) build up on a little self-confidence.

in the coming year.
yep. and i wish that everyone will have a good health, a good time.

oo i just received the earliest New year greeting SMS.
The army beats everyone else this year.

HAPPY 2008

2007-12-23T23:47:00.000+08:00

outing!
this is to celebrate that yd and alv has successfully endured 2 weeks at this strange little island called tekong. other than the initial who-is-that-guy-who-is-waving-at-me- shock everything else is pretty much the same. p. tk changes your hairstyle, and makes you miss your frens a lot.

from what i heard, army life seems interesting enough.

i have 2.5 weeks.

merry christmas!

2007-12-17T23:41:00.000+08:00

wushu outing at sentosa yesterday.
we all went there to see raindrops.

it rained exactly when the monorail left the station at vivo. nonetheless the trip is not bad la.
we walked back and forth siliso beach many times: across it once to wait for the rain to fade, then back to fetch a senior, and yet another to take photos to convince ourselves that the 3 dollars was well spent. haha it was anyway. being able to get together and talk is priceless.

and the next time i am invited, i'll tell you how to witness a very special phenomenon called:
HAIRSPRAY
yes. its a very unique sight and it leaves you stunned, awed, annoyed and delighted all at the same time. best of all, its free.

till then.

2007-12-15T18:38:00.000+08:00

its the festive season! hence the snowflake as shown above. haha come to think of it, this thing does look a little like a benzene ring, as someone once remarked.
well, according to the book 120 different snowflakes can be make from this basic shape alone, but so far my attempts have failed miserably. my variants all seem to look like nasty spiked wheels.

a long awaited wushu outing tmr. i do hope forecasts are wrong and its a sunny day tomorrow afternoon.

2007-12-11T17:37:00.000+08:00

The golden compass.....
well the movie is a tad disappointing. i think i'll rather read the trilogy by phillip pullman.
haha anyone who possess it... care to let me borrow it?

心烦。

2007-12-08T18:48:00.000+08:00

"we are in emo-land" - anonymous.

it seems that many are currently in the midst of at least one crisis.
failing rs, "one-way traffic" , thinning friendships...... you name it.
then, you begin to think," life really sucks doesnt it?"

i lost my temper yesterday, hurting the few people around me and doing nothing to help the situation. the more i thought about it, the more i think i'm really stupid.
ah. fancy me getting worked up over some small actions. i've promised myself i will not let that happen again.

i do value my friends. that's the reason i was upset about the attitute in the first place.
yet, it no longer matters.
as long as i have done my part, i have no regrets.

yep. do your best. and then get over it.
i'm sure we'll all get past this emo period successfully and quickly.

不管飞行还是蹉跎
都仍是自己的生活
烦恼不会凭空
不如捕捉笑声涂上耳朵
换一个轮廓
快乐比较多
放自己好过

苏打绿-飞鱼

2007-12-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

i'm losing a friend.
or perhaps i have already lost him.

i have thought about the group's action as a whole, the way we are trying to resolve the problem as well as his actions and responses.

i'd say: it takes 2 hands to clap.

2007-12-04T19:37:00.001+08:00

PHOTOS!
pics from yesterday's grad night.

derrick, me and kang lih of the 852 club.

公教！

the s06 guys

chs 4-8 nj faction(incomplete)

sweetest couple nominee!... with one half replaced.
too bad i wasnt able to catch that classic smooch done on stage.
Some other photos with s06:

here we've got the hand of J.

although i would like to take more photos with the people i know, the battery died halfway through the photo taking session. so all the group and class photos i'll need to have someone send them to me.

from here on, it'll be really difficult to meet up as a class once again.

every one of us are already stepping out on our own journey, treading down different paths and pursuing our own ideals.

no doubt our paths will cross again one day.

till then,

2007-12-03T00:02:00.000+08:00

shall dedicate an early birthday wish to joel zhou!
well happy birthday if you ever happen to read this.

i think the best part is the bday gift.
the very moment yd showed me, i knew it'll be a hit.
haha but i really wonder what kind of a store will stock and display that kind of item.

its grad night tmr evening.
i hope i look at least presentable.

2007-11-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

i wonder if you've heard of this old stereotype, that guys always march into the store, get what they want and exit 5 mins later. everything is chop-chop ( curry-pok) , no nonsense and decisive.

the bunch of us obviously deviate greatly.
for some, its a record 9 hours of shopping today. we reckon we've outshone the girls.

ah. shopping. its an art i'll never understand.
because if i can have it my way, i'll wear my trusty green shirt and my battered pair of slippers to every function i encounter.

training starts tmr.

2007-11-27T15:13:00.000+08:00

from here on,
a new chapter of my life begins.
how will it go? i have no idea.
what i do know is, i will do my best in each endeavour.

there's been a flood of photos recently!
all the good times i/we had are immortalised in these pictures.
shall post a few:

my first JC class! haha its been a while.

nj wushu team

NJ LDW

me with some 06 guys

yesterdays' bbq! heres some of us

CHS 4805! or most of them actually. at least the majority is here even after 2 years

the emoS

and so it begins, our own long long story.